Matthew: Pardoning for Sin (18:21-35)

This sermon was preached to Grace Church Guildford on 26 November 2023. The audio recording of the sermon can be found below along with the transcript.

How have you been wronged? When have you been hurt or harmed by someone close to you? Unfortunately, it is something we all experience. Every relationship we ever have will at some point be overshadowed by some sort of sin. Sometimes it is relatively insignificant. A clash of personalities at work, leaves you licking your wounds for a few days. Or a squabble between two siblings results in slammed doors and grumpy faces at dinner. However, we all know that the breakdown of a relationship can also have more significant effects as well. The unfaithful actions of a spouse can mean their partner will struggle to trust anyone ever again. The uncontrolled anger of a parent can cause children to live in fear for years to come. The ungrateful recklessness of a child can give their parents many sleepless nights and worried filled days. The controlling and belittling behaviour of a boss can ruin a career and bring on a health crisis.

One of the sad realities of living together as sinners in a sinful world, is that we will often hurt and harm each other. Sometimes in significant ways. Indeed, even the most precious and promising relationships we have, will be spoiled by sin. There is no marriage that is immune, no family or friendship that is fully protected, no workplace where this will not occur. Sin seeps into every relational crack and crevice. And in Matthew 18, we see this is also unfortunately true in the church. Not only will colleagues or classmates sin against us. Not only will friends or family members sin against us. But even our brothers and sisters in Christ will do so.

Over these last few weeks, we have been working our way through this sermon in Matthew 18. It is the fourth of five sermons that Jesus gives in Matthew’s Gospel, and it focuses on the idea that the church is both the kingdom of Christ and the family of God. By taking Jesus to be your king, you also become God’s child, and so are brought into his family alongside other brothers and sisters in the church. However, as we go through this sermon, we see that life in this family is far from perfect. For Jesus clearly tells us that the church will still stumble and struggle with sin. Two weeks ago, in 18:1-9, we heard that we must protect one another from sin. Last week, in 18:10-20, Jesus taught us to pursue each other in sin. And now, in our text tonight, we are told to pardon one another for sin.

Our passage begins with the question of Peter in 18:21. There we read: [READ]. Here Peter returns to centre stage after a series of prominent appearances in Matthew 16 and 17.  He has had a mixed track record of success so far, being both rewarded and rebuked for his comments and questions at different times. However, his question here in 18:21 initially seems like a sensible one to ask. In 18:15-20, Jesus has just taught his disciples all about church discipline, the process we should go through when a brother or sister walks away from the faith or wanders off into sin. Last week we heard how, at each stage of the process, if the brother or sister listens to the loving correction of the family, if they repent, they are to be rejoiced over, forgiven, brought back into the family again. And so, in 18:21, Peter asks Jesus about the parameters of this process, inquiries if there is any limit that should be put on this love.

It is important to see that that is the focus of his question. Peter does not doubt that we must forgive someone who sins against us. His question is not if there is a place for forgiveness, but if there is a limit to it. He wants to know, if they repent, ‘how many times’, must we forgive them? How many chances to change does someone get? And it is important to realise that his suggestion of seven chances there is extraordinarily generous for a Jew at the time. The standard Jewish teaching in the 1st Century was that you only gave someone three chances. Like an ancient version of rounders, the rabbis gave you three strikes before you were out. And yet, Jesus arrives at a very different answer. Not 3 times, or even 7 times, but 77 times. And Jesus supports this statement by telling us a story in 18:23-34. Tonight, we’ll consider it in two parts: (1) The Forgiveness of the Father; (2) The Forgiveness of the Family.

1.     THE FORGIVENESS OF THE FATHER (18:23-27)

Last week, we saw that Jesus took the very same approach. Before turning to the love of the family, in 18:15-20, he taught his disciples about the love of the Father, using the parable of the lost sheep in 18:10-14. And the same is true here, to help answer Peter’s question about the forgiveness that the family of God must show, he tells them a story about the forgiveness that the father has shown. The story begins in 18:23, where Jesus speaks of: [READ].

This situation would have been common at the time. In those days, one of the privileges of being an official in the court of a king, was that you could freely lend from treasury of the king. Like how an assistant in a sweet shop, or a tender at a bar, may sometimes be allowed to keep a tab during their shift of anything they took for themselves. The only stipulation is that one day, you must pay it back. You will need to square your tab, settle your account. However, when the day came for the servants of this king to settle their accounts, there was a problem. For one of the servants had got themselves into massive debt.

In our text, the amount owed in 18:24 is translated as 10,000 bags of gold. Which doesn’t mean much to us now, as we no longer deal in bags of gold! But if you want an idea of how much this amounts to, you see from the footnotes each bag, called a talent, is worth around 20 years wages. That means this man owes the king about 200,000 years of wages: a huge sum! This would be the equivalent of us owing someone billions of pounds today. It is closer to the debt of a country, than what we expect of a servant. And by making the amount this large, Jesus’ point is clear. There is no way that this servant will ever pay it back! And so, in 18:25, the king does what he can to recover his losses. As was the custom at the time, the debtor and his family are sold into slavery. That is how most slaves ended up in servitude, for debt. And yet, even this would have been insufficient. The most that would have recovered from such a sale was one or two talents. This man’s debt is so large, that even the sale of his life, and all he has, is a drop in the ocean compared to how much he owes.

The situation of this servant is desperate, dire, hopeless. And yet, the Bible is clear that it is the exact same situation that each of us here this evening is also in. As we saw a few weeks ago, from the story at the end of Matthew 17, about the temple tax, we all owe God. We owe him obedience. We owe him worship. We owe him love. And we have all failed to pay him what we owe. Instead of obeying him, we have disobeyed him. Instead of worshipping him, we have valued other things more than him. Instead of loving him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, we’ve been half-hearted in our attempts to please him.

The Bible is clear that, as sinners, we are all in God’s debt. Indeed, that is what sin is. It is a debt. A failure to pay God what we owe. And like this servant before his king, our debt before our king, is far too great for us to ever pay. We are all bankrupt before God, have nothing of worth that could even come close to paying what we owe. Like this man, even if we gave God everything we now have, spent the rest of our lives serving him, it would be but a drop in the ocean compared to all that we owe. Friend, 200,000 lives would not be long enough for you to pay what you owe. And one day, the Bible says, your name will be called, and it will be time to square your tab, settle your account. And you will have nothing to pay it with.

How should we respond to such a desperate situation? What can we do, given the massive scale of our debt? Well, in 18:26, Jesus tells us what this man did. We read: [READ]. Did you notice what he asks for there? He doesn’t ask for forgiveness, but for time. He doesn’t ask for the debt to be cancelled, but for more time to pay it back. It is clear that this man hasn’t really grasped the true depth of his debt. For there is no way he will ever pay it back! This isn’t like a child saying that they will save up their pennys for a few weeks to pay you back for sweets. This is like someone saying that if you give them time, they will clear the entire national debt of our whole country! It is not possible!

And yet, despite his faulty plea, unrealistic request, we see the king response in 18:27: [READ]. The servant asked for patience, and he got given a pardon. He pleaded for some more time, but instead received full forgiveness. What mercy there must be in the heart of this king, to respond like this! And the Bible tells us, that this is exactly what our king has done for us. For in Jesus, God graciously gives us more than we could ever ask for or imagine.

Yes, every one of us owes God a great debt. A debt that none of us can pay. And yet, through Jesus, God not only offers us patience; he hands us a pardon. As Matthew goes on to record, Jesus, the perfect Son of God, went to the cross to cover the debt of his people. Someone has to suffer the loss of sin. And just as in the story, where the king covers the cost himself, the Bible tells us that in Jesus, God does the same. He himself suffers the punishment for sin on the cross, so that all who have faith in him can be fully forgiven. As Paul puts it in Colossians 2:13, God forgives Christians all of their sins, cancelling the record of debt that stood against us, nailing it to the cross. He answers the prayer of his perfect son, who even as he died in agony and pain on that cross, cried out, ‘Father, forgive them!’

If you are here tonight, no matter what you have done, no matter how great your debt may seem before God, that can be true for you. This full forgiveness, perfect pardon, is for you if you turn from your sin and trust in Jesus. If you stop following your own path through life, and start following his. For through faith in Jesus Christ, every sin can be forgiven. No matter how great our debt is, it can be covered by the cross of Christ. For as we sang in our first song, our sins may be many, but his mercy is more. Yes, we stand as hopeless debtors, before a holy God [...]

2.     THE FORGIVENESS OF THE FAMILY (18:28-35)

This is where the rubber of our passage meets the road of our lives. For the primary purpose of the parable is not to point to the forgiveness of the Father, but to persuade us to show the same forgiveness as a family. Last week, we heard that the Father’s love for the lost should result in our love for the lost. And here we are told the same: the Father’s forgiveness should result in our forgiveness. Those who are forgiven must also be forgiving(Sironi).

This is seen throughout Scripture. Indeed, we have already heard it from Jesus’ own mouth. Back in Matthew 6, in the Lord’s Prayer, he taught us to pray, ‘forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.’ Jesus says there is a link between God forgiving us and us forgiving others. And Paul says the same. In both Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13, he tells us to forgive one another, ‘just as in Christ, God forgave you.’ The Bible is clear that because God has forgiven us, we must forgive others. His mercy to us, places a responsibility on us, to show mercy to others. And I’m sure all of us tonight would agree with this in principle. It seems like a good way to live. As C S Lewis put it, ‘Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea, [that is] until they have something to forgive.’

And it seems this is true for the man in our parable. As he walked out of the King’s court that day, freed from all his debts, I’m sure he thought forgiveness was a wonderful idea! That is, until he comes across someone who owes him something. For in 18:28, we read: [READ]. It is important we see this debt owed to him by another servant wasn’t insignificant. 100 silver coins, or denarii, would have been 100 days of wages. Three months’ pay is no small amount! And it is important that we recognise this, for in the parable this debt represents the wrongs that are done to us by others.

Grace Church, we see here that harsh comments, belittling behaviour, silent neglect, hidden betrayal, risen hands: these all are all real wrongs with real consequences. As we thought at the start of our sermon, when we sin against each other, we can really harm and hurt one another. Such debts are not insignificant sums. Jesus isn’t just telling us to forgive a few small mistakes. No, he is calling us to a kind forgiveness that is costly! 100 silver coins is not an insignificant sum. If you weren’t paid for the next three months, I am sure you would notice the difference in your bank balance! And yet, compared to the debt that the king had just written off, it pales into insignificance!

Christian, when you are struggling to forgive someone in your heart, when bitterness begins to set in, or when you start to say to yourself, ‘How can I ever forgive them?’ Jesus says this is where you must start. You must remind yourself, that their debt towards you, no matter how great or grievous the harm or hurt, pales in comparison with your debt before God. For it is impossible for someone to sin against you, as much as you’ve sinned against God.

Now, I know there may be many here tonight who have suffered greatly through the sin of others. Suffered in ways that I will never understand. And yet, while I may never know what you have been through, I believe that that statement still stands: it is impossible for someone to sin against you, as much as you’ve sinned against God. Our debt before God, is always greater than someone’s debt to us. Even if someone owes us 100 silver coins, we have received forgiveness for 10,000 bags of gold! And Jesus says we must not forget it. We must not let, even the significant sins of others, seem more significant than the sins of ourselves. We must not forget how much we have been forgiven.

Unfortunately, this man had forgotten, had not learnt the lesson of God’s grace. His own experience of forgiveness had taught him nothing. And so, he demanded that this servant pay back all that he owed. Even when the servant pleaded with the same words, in 18:29, as he himself had earlier used before the king, he refused to show mercy, instead of giving him a pardon,  he put him in prison. This man refused to pay the price of forgiveness, cover the cost of the 100 silver coins himself. And yet, his refusal to do so ended up costing him far more, for when word of all that had happened got back to the king, Jesus concludes the story and highlights the main point of the parable from 18:32: [READ].

The refusal of this man to show mercy resulted in the reversal of the king’s mercy. He had to pay every penny of his original debt back, which he could never do. And so, his imprisonment was permanent. He would see out the rest of his life in suffering and agony. And Jesus’ makes the point of the parable for us clear in 18:35. This is how the Father will treat members of his family who fail to forgive their brothers and sisters. This is how God will treat you, Christian, if you refuse to show mercy to those who repent. If you do not show mercy to others, then you cannot rely on God showing it to you. And so, yes, as we have seen, forgiving others is always costly. And yet, in the end, the question is not whether you can afford to forgive someone, but whether you can afford not to!

The point of our parable is plain: forgiven people are forgiving people. We who have been forgiven for so much, must not fail to show that forgiveness to others as well. That truth is clear in our text. And yet, applying this truth to the individual circumstances of our lives, is rarely so simple. Yes, it is clear that we must forgive, but how we actually do that in specific, and often tragic, cases is far less easy to work out. When speaking about forgiveness and relational conflict, there are all kinds of pastoral nuances we need to think through and talk about. Every case is different, and will require bespoke counsel and care. And so, if you are struggling to work through a particular situation where you have been sinned against, and you aren’t sure what to do, then I’d encourage you to talk to a mature Christian, an elder or a Fellowship Group leader this week.

If you aren’t sure how to start that conversation, then use this sermon as a springboard. After all, that is what every sermon we ever hear should be: a doorway into more detailed consideration and conversations. For the reason Jamie and I spend all week thinking about a passage, is so that you can spend the next week thinking about it! A Sunday sermon is the starting line, not the finish line. It's just the beginning of God’s Word working in his people, as we pray over and talk about it during the rest week.

And so, over this coming week, think about whether there is someone you need to forgive. Or perhaps someone who you need to ask for forgiveness from. And talk to a mature Christian about how you might do that, how you can apply the truth of this passage to the details of your own life.

For example, (1) maybe you are in a situation where the individual who has sinned against you is refusing to repent. If so, reflect on how you can begin to forgive them in your heart, turning away from bitterness and resentment, while still recognising that reconciliation and the restoration of the relationship will not occur until they repent. Ask yourself, ‘How can I take the first steps of forgiving them internally, even as I wait for the ability to do so externally?’

(2) Or perhaps you are in a situation where you need to work out how to draw the line between forgiving and forgetting. If so, consider how you can balance the need to not hold their past sin against them, while still wisely avoiding putting both them and yourself back into the same kind of situation or temptation again.

(3) Or maybe you are in a situation where you are struggling to forgive, let go of a grievance you have, simply because you don’t feel like it. You feel like stewing on how you’ve been wronged. You don’t even want to see the person, never mind forgive them! Well, if so, as we have been saying, spend time reflecting on how much you have been forgiven. As well as reminding yourself that reconciliation and building up trust in them again takes time! And so, pray that the Lord would slowly do that work in your heart, would cause you to begin to love and care for them again.

Those are the kinds of applications each of us should mediate on in our own lives. As we respond to how colleagues and classmates, friends and family members, and yes, even brothers and sisters in Christ, all sin against us.

And yet, as we close, I want to focus not on the personal implications of our passage, but on the corporate ones. After all, that is what the whole chapter is about, is it not? Matthew 18 is all about the church; Christ’s kingdom; God’s family. And throughout the sermon, Jesus has stressed the fact that as God’s people, we must be relentlessly ruthless with sin. Have you noticed that? In 18:1-9, we were told that even if an eye or a hand caused us to stumble into sin, we were to cut it off, pluck it out. No part of our lives, even our own bodies, can be spared in this fight against sin. And last week, in 18:10-20, we were told to confront one another if we fall into sin, have honest and direct conversations about the consequences of sin. Not a single sheep can be allowed to stray, without someone going after them to call them back. So far in Matthew 18, Jesus has been clear, we must be relentlessly ruthless with sin. And yet, as he finishes the sermon, he is just as clear that we must be endlessly forgiving with each other. Relentlessly ruthless with sin, and endlessly forgiving with sinners.

That is what Jesus means there in 18:22, where he tells Peter he must forgive his brother not 7, but 77 times. Jesus isn’t playing a kind of beginner's version of rounders, where you get 77 chances to strike the ball but on the 78th you are out. No, Jesus is speaking here in hyperbole. He is telling Peter that there are endless second chances, there is no limit to this love. For just as the Father’s forgiveness knows no bounds, it doesn’t matter who we are or what we have done, it doesn’t matter how great our debt is, God forgives us in Christ. Such should be the Family’s forgiveness. That is what we must reflect in the church.

Brothers and sisters, see here that Christians should be the most merciful of people. That churches should be the one community in this world where you can always find forgiveness. It doesn’t matter what bad choices or bad mistakes someone has made in life. It doesn’t matter how embarrassed they are by their background, or how lost they are in their sin. The church, the family of God, is the place where should be able to experience forgiveness that knows no bounds, a kind of love that knows no limits. The church is a safe space for us to make mistakes in. For yes, we must be relentlessly ruthless with sin. And yet, we are to be endlessly forgiving with sinners, with one another as brothers and sisters.

Even if we have to confront one another about our sin, even if we have to discipline one of our members, remove them from the church because of their refusal to repent of sin, we see here that, as John Calvin put it, we must ‘never give up on anyone.’ For the church should be the place where sinners are always welcomed home. The family of God are to be the ones who are always willing, eager, quick to forgive. For that is how the Father has been towards us.